OMG! This tattoo is unlike any tattoo before it! I found my breaking point of being tattoo. He kept saying almost done, almost done, I just have this little bit. I was shivering which I wasn’t cold, I was at my breaking point.
The pain! The pain is bad! I was crying on Thursday, how bad it hurt in the morning. I am sure I accidentally slept on it at one point. The pain is crazy!
The sign was the worst! All those orange circles hurt sooooooooo badly!!
Why is my family like this? I am totally a person who is organized when it comes to dates. Whether it’s a doctor’s appointment or family get togethers. I should have told my sister that wasn’t doing Christmas this year and stuck to it because the outcome is what I expected. A total clusterfuck is what has happened! I knew it!
I said yes and I regret it. To the time, to not giving gifts to giving gifts, it’s too much! I get so annoyed with the whole thing. So, finally I am like you know what I am going to do what I want. Everyone gets gifts, I don’t care if you got me nothing. That’s how it is.
Another thing is the time. I don’t want to be there for very long and play stupid games. My sis always wants to play the most stupidest games because they have to be kid friendly too. I see you, we eat, presents, talk then I am going home. That’s it. The most annoyed I got is when I wanted to do this at noon because it’s the perfect time to eat, because most people eat at that time. She said her kids don’t get up till noon. I am like really??? She definitely does the gentle parenting thing and it’s so annoying. I wasn’t raised that way. You get up, people are coming over otherwise you are grounded. Also, like Jeff said “Not my problem”. Funny! So, we had to go back and forth for the stupid time. Finally got it.
I rather just spend Christmas with Jeff and Tex. Now I know for next year.
Today is Thanksgiving! We are having a turkduckin. Never had one and we are staying home. We are going to watch movies! Planes, trains and automobiles and Tommy Boy because why not. It’s also snowing so we are happy to be home!
On Tuesday I went to get my Las Vegas tattoo. I have wanted to get a penguins tattoo but wasn’t sure how I wanted them. Then I thought of putting in my Las Vegas tattoo. I was there for 8 hours and still not done but I am in love with it!
I go back in December and can’t wait to see it finished!
Laster Saturday April and I went to a model horse show. She won some!
I told April this wasn’t for me but I am glad we went. I mostly wanted to hang out with April.
Strange thing is they never turned on the lights for the restroom, had to use the phone for a flashlight. Not sure why they did that. One of the judges was such a bitch. She actually told April that one of her model horse’s was fat, a model horse…..Ok.
Pumpkins caved. I did one tooth and the 3rd pumpkin. Jeff did owl and creepy face. Turned out great!
Went out with the parents last Saturday. It’s always nice seeing them. They wanted to take these chairs we made them so many years ago. When we got them home we realized they need to be thrown away. So, we are making them new chairs as a surprise when they come back from Florida.
We talked about Adam. We discussed that it wasn’t fair what he does to his family. I was surprised my dad even said this. I know my mom gets sad when Adam and I fight or disagree. There just has to be solution this and I found one.
Yesterday, when I called my parents, they told me Adam tried to message me but I had blocked him everywhere even his phone number. They read the message to me, it went something like this: Hey Danielle, I am sorry. Whenever you are ready to have a conversation, reach out to me. You are my sister and I love you.
Yeah okay I was thinking. I just don’t want to disappoint my mom but I have to choose me. I don’t choose me often but for this time I have too. I wrote something that I hesitate to send but Jeff voice of reason was like. “You can’t let him keep treating you this way. He can’t contact you every time he just wants something”. That isn’t right, I agreed and sent it.
I told him, this year I will not be in contact with him. I gave him reason why I won’t because I was very hurt what he said 2 weeks ago and I no longer will be treated that way anymore. To give me space and I will talk to you when I feel ready to do so.
I also want to enforce that he CAN’T treat me like this in the future. Because no contact is terrible for him but that’s what he has been doing to me all this time and it isn’t right. I feel better when I don’t have contact with him. He doesn’t live rent free in my head for long. 2 weeks ago I was hurt but got over it in a few days. It’s nice not to be the one he can ghost and then come back for money usually. He needs to learn a lesson and this is a hard lesson he will have to learn because unlike all those other times, I am not giving in and choosing my mental health then pleasing any family member.
Lots of things to hit me with my mental health. The first thing is I really wanted to go on that shot to lose weight and insurance wants to fight it. So, unsure if I would be able to get it.
Second, Adam asked for $700 dollars but not just me all the siblings and their spouses. Oh woes me bullshit. I left the chat. Then he said really nasty shit to me and told me we are not siblings anymore. That he is going to block me on all socials and delete all pics of me and him. He did in fact unfriend me on FB. So, I blocked him on everything. Phone number, Instagram and my YouTube channel. I DO NOT want him in my life. It hurt he said this just because I didn’t want to give him money which I don’t have. I think he is going to regret this decision because he can’t come back in my life for a very, very long time if ever.
After hearing that, I got stung by a wasp in my middle finger. Which everything just in today Friday, I cried a lot! I was in pain, mentally and physically.
I know it will get better. I have to work on my mental health, it’s struggle sometimes but I know I can. Also, my finger hurts.
Celebrated my mom’s 70 birthday again last Saturday.
My sister made up stupid games to win prizes and I played and won no prizes. I have no idea why we can’t just hang out and chit chat without Chrissy bringing up games to play. She loves all those interactive games too. Ugh! Other than that I think my mom had a good time.
Jeff and I celebrated 18 years of marriage on September 15! Jeff got me this mug. I am in love with it! So cute! We went out and ate steak. Yum!
Last Friday we celebrated mom’s 70’s birthday. We got her this:
The Gnome is a candle that smells amazing!! She loved both so much! Score! It was Jeff and I and my parents and we had a great time!
This Saturday is celebrate with all the siblings. I don’t want too. I don’t want to go to my sister’s house and celebrate. I feel a way about it, them in general. I don’t know. I rather not. But it’s for my mom so I am going.
Wed Aug 27 was Jeff’s birthday! I can’t believe it, he turned 49. I remember when we were dating that we celebrated his 30th birthday! Time really goes by fast as one grows older. We had Stucc’s Pizza and cheese cake from….get this New York! Yeah Jeff ordered from NY. Which I find funny because his mom would always say this story where Jeff ordered cheese cake from NY. Here he did it again. LOL!!! It was really good though.
Happy birthday Jeff, love you!