Monthly Archives: August 2021

Life

Posted on by under Everyday Life

Where to start for this week?

Let’s do the bad first and end with the good.

On Monday, August 16 I was mowing the lawn in our backyard until a swarm of bees attacked me. At first, I thought I was bitten by a mosquito because I felt a prick but all of sudden it was a lot of pricks in my skin. I look down and I am being attacked by a LOT of bees!

It hurt so badly! I haven’t felt pain like that in a very VERY long time. It made me cry A LOT! Thankfully Jeff had the day off. He tried to help with some home remedies but nothing worked. I decided to go to the emergency room. The worst stungs were my inner thigh and one got me behind my ear. I was in such terrible pain! I couldn’t stop crying because it was so painful. My left ankle took most of the stings. It swelled up so badly that I couldn’t walk.

When we were in the ER it was busy! We had to sit for a long time to be seen. Which normally that is how ER is but in the town I live in usually it isn’t. When the ER nurse took me back, she had me walk all the way to the last room. Thankfully Jeff helped me to get there. He held my hand because I could barely walk. Why didn’t they give me a wheelchair?

The nurse and the doctor didn’t treat me the way they should’ve. They just kept asking if I have ever been stung by a bee before. The answer is yes but not like 20 all at once. They gave me the attitude since I am not allergic and my asthma was okay that it wasn’t a big deal that I was in so much pain.

I was in so much pain my body couldn’t stop shaking. I have had that only a few times when I would have teeth problems. My body just can’t handle the pain and I start shaking. That was me in the ER. All they did was give me Benadryl and one dose of an antibiotic. They sent me home. WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They failed to mention, I had to look it up on Google was I could get toxin sickness. I got toxin sickness later in the night. Which according to Google can happen anywhere from 4 to 6 hours after getting stung multiple times. I got stung nearly 20 times. After six hours of getting stung, I got a fever near 100 and my stomach felt queasy. I was in bad shape on Monday.

Tuesday was just a tiny bit better. First I wasn’t in such terrible pain, no more fever, and my stomach was fine. But my ankle was still swollen and everywhere they stung me burned. It was intense! I couldn’t lay down in bed because of my legs. Laying on the sheet or even having a blanket on them burned so very, very much! I literally didn’t sleep all of Monday till Tuesday in the afternoon. I couldn’t. I finally gave up and took some sleepy pills. I really hate taking those they always mess with me the next day but I really needed sleep.

Sleep helped. Now I have itchy burning. I have this strange thing happening to my wrist/arm. They stung me in my wrist on my right arm. I feel warm then cold, sometimes my hand goes numb then a jolt of pain up my arm. Not sure what to do about that. I think it’s a nerve thing. All I can really do is wait it out. There is a huge reason why I don’t trust doctors even more so here in my town. They don’t care and they don’t give good information. I thought for sure they would help me or give me advice on what to do but I was wrong. I do try to avoid the doctors or the ER as much as possible and now even more so after this. I’ll just have to figure it out myself unless I need them and it’s really not fixable by myself. So ridiculous!! I don’t go to the ER for fun. It’s the last place I ever want to be.

Now for the good. Sort of sad but good.

Jeff and I made boxes for Scotty, Dee, and Red. Red was Chrissy’s dog. He passed away in 2018. I was telling her we are making boxes for Scotty and April’s cat Dee because we don’t like the tins we got from the vet’s. That’s when she was like can you do one for Red? We still have him in our office just sitting there. I was like yes of course! So we made them. They turned out so great. We also got plates engraved for all the boxes. People got to choose what they wanted to say.

I am happy with how they turned out. We still have some work making the shelves for Scotty and Koko. Want to get some pics of them and put them on their shelves. But we got the hard part done which was the boxes themselves.

Personal

Posted on by under Everyday Life, Family

This blog post is going to be different. I thought I would write down what has been brought up many times this week and last week. It was unexpected for me to even talk about but yet here I am talking about it again.

How it started was, I was going through pictures of Jeff’s mom. I tell Jeff he was pretty lucky. Even though he has a half-brother and sister, (like me) when he came along it was like he was the only child. His mom and dad paid attention to him and they were a family of three. Attentive parents. Even when his dad would travel for work he would call every day.

I get a little jealous but I also think it’s great! I wonder how that would feel.

My dad was a workaholic.

I know I have talked about this before. But it just seems extra this time because I see it in other parts of my family. That was one thing I told Jeff even before we got married. Yes, you CAN make more money working somewhere else but if it means you are gone all the time. That isn’t going to work for me. I know that seems like it seems, I guess. But the trauma I had to go through as a kid, I don’t want as an adult.

I have been going through old pics with my family and Jeff’s family. There aren’t a lot of pics of me and my dad. This makes me sad. Dad was gone A LOT in my childhood. I remember feeling resentment for a long, long time.

I remember when we would go on family vacations, work still was the most important than even us. I remember dad would HAVE to make calls to work even on vacation. I hated that! We had to stop here or there for dad to call work. Remember this was before cell phones.

I remember dad being gone for weeks. One time he was gone for 3 months! What was worse was he would forget my birthday. He would miss sporting events which I have stated before I only joined for him! I hated doing sports. It was my way for dad to be in my life and be there for me. It didn’t work. He would miss piano concerts which were nerve-wracking for me to do because I am so introverted.

The worst moment is when I thought of all those gifts throughout my life, my dad picked out for me. Mom accidentally one time let it slip it was her. That hurt a lot. More than she probably knows.

Now as an adult, I do understand why my dad worked so hard. One him being an absolute workaholic. Two my parents can now afford to go on trips, do things they want that costs money because he worked so hard. For me, though I wish there were more moments, more pictures of us together.

However, I was in my 30’s that I finally forgave him. It was a hard road of feelings to get to that point. I think dad I have a good relationship now.

That is why I told Jeff that yes money is great. You can make enough for what he does. But if it costs you not being with me. I couldn’t handle it. I think moments of being together are more important than the amount of money one can earn. Yes! Money is important but it doesn’t have to take over your life with working too much. Because I have seen what it did to me and how I felt all those years. I see it in Corey’s life. He is a workaholic. I think that is bad. I see in my sister’s life that her husband is gone a lot for work too, traveling. That is something I would never want.

As anyone knows forgiveness is a hard road. It’s a road I have taken many times with many people in my life. This one was one of the hardest because it’s hard to forget. All my childhood is hard. But I did it and forgave and now I have my dad in my life.

With that here is my favorite pic of me and my dad when I was a baby.