Happy New Year! I am still here!

This represents me right now. It’s a storm in my brain. This year I am going to change myself from inside out. Already started my diet and am feeling good about it. Doing Keto again. Trying to drink more water as well which is hard to do sometimes. I know I can do it though.

Before I get into something else. Got my tattoo done on Dec 26. Took about 2 hours. So fast. I love it. This fresh:

This is healing:

Hahaha, look at that plasma. Anyway, it’s all scabby now. In this pic, you can see the purple which I love. The tattoo artist said it would make it pop more when all healed. I am like cool do it. Turned out great.

My feelings were completely hurt by Adam. Here is how it started. We have a siblings group and he was complaining he didn’t have any money and had to pay this this amount. No one responded and he was like okay thanks for everyone responding. I called him out and said he doesn’t respond for days or even weeks when I message him and no one knows what to say about the money thing.

He got really pissy towards me and demanded an apology. I did apologize but it really hurt me. Then even more so when I talk to the parents about it. Found out even more stuff that he has been lying about so many things. I was super hurt.

As I am an overthinker. I thought about it so much. It hurt so much. After some days I have decided something. I love him but we need to be separate. Here is the thing, I think a lot about us growing up and the bond we had. However, that isn’t how it is as adults. I need to let go of that version of that relationship. Our relationship isn’t and never will be that again.

I feel at peace with this. I also will not be engaging with my siblings as well. I need to stop with all that. I am sick of being hurt by them and I know they don’t think about me the way I think of them from time to time.

This year is about not only healing my body but my mind. I am determined to do so this year.