I saw the endodontist and he and I had a good conversation. He explained how a tooth works. I find it fascinating when they explain that to me. The fact of the matter is he has no idea what’s going on and I figured this is how the conversation was going to happen. I understand my case is strange. So, the conclusion is I have to take it out. He did give me a full refund, that’s great!

I went to the dentist on Thursday for another tooth. Came to the conclusion I am going to take that one out too. I am going to put two implants there. It just sucks because it’s my two side teeth in the front of my mouth.

I am mad sort of? Not because of the dentist. That is just how it is. I am mad at April. I am so sick of everyone having main character syndrome. She called me while I was at the dentist. Nothing I could do then. Then calls and calls, I had to put on do not disturb. Then I call her, and she sobbing. Telling me she has nowhere to go and asking if she can come and live with me.

She told me she couldn’t go home because she needed someone to help her use the restroom and shower. I told her she needed to go to a nursing home. She was crying. I said my home wasn’t suitable for her. First of all, we have steps to get into our home and we don’t have a bed for a guest. I was also worried that Tex would hurt her because he isn’t the most gentle dog. He sometimes plows into you not knowing how strong he is. Then that made her sob even more. I told her if you can’t get into a nursing home, yes you can live with us until we can get you in the nursing home. She really needs a nurse to be with her.

I told her to call me either way. Never heard from her. All I have done is bend over backward for her for years. Move her, take her, here and there, I am done. Fuck this! She can be so selfish. Believe it or not, I got to deal with my own shit as well, not just worry about her. I mean jeez she is 40! What is up with this? It takes literal seconds to be like I am here in a nursing home or something. I am done. I should care but I am having trouble finding where my feelings of care are. I just don’t. I think it has been just so much with Adam and his main character syndrome. That has shaped me to not give into the main character’s syndrome to others and that includes April.

I don’t know what will happen. I am mad and I don’t care at the same time. It’s a strange thing. Oh well….which is my motto of life.

On Wednesday, April told me she had an accident. She fell off her bike bad! She did have her helmet which is good because she fell on her head. Her face is all torn up and she broke her knee. April has to have surgery on her knee they are going to put a pin in it. I feel so bad for her! She won’t be able to move around completely for 6 months.

My mouth still hurts on and on. I am going to go see the endodontist on Tuesday. I feel like it will be never ending. Now, I can’t decide if it’s one tooth feeling sympathy for another. I am so sick of being in tooth pain.

A cheer up pic: A lab with his balls

I didn’t want to blog last week. Being human. Anyway, let’s go back to last week. On May 28th which was a Tuesday I went to the dentist to get a new night guard. I was super dreading it and had so much anxiety! Because last time he was combative and treated me like a child. It was fine and I feel like I got him back. I know it shouldn’t be that deep. Which is my new saying. lol! Am I hip yet? Joking! Do people still say hip? Probably not. Oh well!

Anyway, we had a conversation about my teeth and I told him, I would see a neurologist if he wanted me to. He said yes and I told him I needed a referral and he said he would. Been over a week, I don’t think he did it. Now that’s not accountability which he harped on me to go see one and yet he didn’t do it. They would have called me already. Thanks for more anxiety!

Then I had another tooth hurt. I went to see the other dentist there. I was so nervous! I got that feeling that maybe he pawned me off to the other dentist. Probably not that deep. I saw the other dentist and she was amazing! Her dental assistance was so great! They replaced an old filing. I am good with that. Very positive visit.