This week was emotional week because April told me a lot about her dad. I didn’t know what terrible dad he was. I knew but didn’t know all the terrible things.
Made me think of my dad and how he wasn’t there. It sucked because I haven’t thought about that in a long time. I was thinking of the lava lamp incident.
Lava lamp Incident: Is I am a teen and I really wanted this lava lamp.
It looked like this. I really, really wanted it for Christmas. I told my dad this is what I want. For Christmas I got it and it said it was from my dad. I was so happy but then my mom said well I got it and wrapped it. I looked at her and was like what? You mean dad didn’t go to the store and pick this out just for me? I was about either 13 or 14 years old. I was crushed! I was always wanted things from my dad and a simple gift like this that my dad went out and picked up just for me, would have been special.
At the time I should have known. I mean this guy couldn’t even remember my birthday and asked me every year how old I was going to be and not in a joking way. I mean how can you forget St. Patrick’s day? He didn’t come to my sports events or recitals and even on vacation, work was more important. This incident sticks out because it really hurt me. Sure I got the gift I wanted, but in reality I wanted a gift from my dad and it didn’t have to be this. It could have been anything.
That was my week in my brain. I meditated and thought about the good relationship have with my dad now. I do feel better now. Never know when memories will come back, good or bad.
