I made this penguin even though Jeff said it doesn’t look like one. Oh well! I made it for myself. The pic doesn’t show it but it’s on sparkle Aida that Helen gave me many years ago. I love it!

It’s winter here now. It snowed and it stayed. Ugh! However, still feel positive and that’s what is important. I have been getting up and going for walks. Even in the snow. I am pretty proud of myself.

I did this diamond painting clock.

On Monday I went to April’s house. It looks nice in there and she has it mostly organized. I got to meet her new member of her family, Sage. Who is a 5-month-year-old kitten. She was so interactive. Didn’t run and hide when I came and let me hold her. It was so fun playing with her.

On Saturday we are going to get 8th of a cow. Never done anything like that before. I just know it’s not only going to save us money but it’s going to taste delicious!

For the first time in a very, very long time I am excited for Christmas. It’s because of something that I have made up my mind about. I am not ready to share but am almost there to share. I am optimistic about the future which usually I am not.

Remember when I said I will never ever have a puppy again? Like I was really dead set on never having one again. Well….we decided to live the nightmare again. I know, I know I said never again. This time will be different since Jeff works from home more. He can help out more too.

Jeff really wants a silver lab but if we can’t find one of those then chocolate lab this time. We want a girl lab too this time. I think Tex will be curious at first. I think Tex will be fine having a sister. We are excited to have another dog in our life.

Ah, this time of year again. It’s starting to get cold out. Today is 32F. However, I go for a walk in the morning. Not every day but I am trying three times a week. It’s so hard because I hate mornings and walking in the cold sucks. But I am trying and for that, I am proud of myself.

Finally! Adam is getting help. I am so proud of him. He is seeing a therapist twice a week and taking his pills. Way to go bro!

We carved pumpkins. Jeff did the wolf in the middle and I did the other two. I can’t believe my cursed turned out:

I got a new diamond painting, it so fits me.

Then I did this lady. I thought when I ordered her she was drinking coffee but she is smelling a flower. LOL!

I finished my elephant that was very hard to do.

I am very worried right now. I am worried about Adam’s health. I really hope he doesn’t do anything stupid. Adam has really bad depression and he also suffers from bipolar disease. He isn’t doing well right now. It really sucks he lives in Oregon, so far away.

The situation he has been telling me he has been trying to find a job that is not food-related. Okay that this fine. Since he always works in the food industry. Adam doesn’t handle rejection well so I am thinking because he can’t find the job he wants or has been rejected, he has sunk into his depression. I feel bad for him.

How we found out because he is terrible at communicating in general. Adam’s BFF messaged me really late at night one night and asked if I heard from Adam. Actually, it was the day that FB went down. Even so, hearing from him is hard. Not sure why that is. That got me worried that something happened. I told the BFF no. Then messaged him like crazy till he responded. He told me he didn’t want to talk about it but he was fine.

Of course, he isn’t fine. Dad called and talked to him and told him, if he didn’t get help, he would call the police. You know for a wellness check. Which I do believe dad would have done. He asked mom if they could come out and mom told him no. That sounds harsh but have to look at it from our perspective. This has been happening since Adam was a teen and now he is 36 years old. Adam loves playing the victim and he can get dad to do what he wants for him. But mom she is a hard nut to crack really. She said if they did go down there we all know what would happen. It would be a lot worse which yes it would be. It would be a lot of yelling and crying from both parties. Adam can say some pretty harsh things when he is like this and I understand why mom doesn’t want to go through that anymore. If he truly would cooperate with anyone. We all would go over there to help but that isn’t how that goes, ever.

Dad has even offered him right now. Do you want me to call someplace? Maybe they can take you or come and get you? Guess what nothing from him. I know that some of Adam’s long-time friends went over there to check on him. I know my parents are trying to get in touch with him, to see what can be done. But if he doesn’t call or message how can it be? It’s hard.

When you love someone who has bipolar depression you pick up patterns. Right now Adam is in the phase of the “I love you. I am sorry I worried you” phase. Which every couple of days I will get these messages. Which indicates he is not really helping himself. If I don’t hear from him, he is somewhere to get help. I hope it’s that one soon. There isn’t anything I can say or do to help him to get the help he needs. All I get is ignored.

It’s hard to bring other siblings into the mix. Since the whole covid Corey thing. Dad put us all in a chat together. Get this Corey doesn’t respond for a day. Then says “Thanks for including me. Love you guys.” A day! This isn’t your show, man! This is our brother who really needs some help. It isn’t about you. Made me mad he said that. So far silence to that since no one said anything back to him.

Chrissy didn’t really grow up with us and Corey was around a little. But I don’t remember him when around when Adam was at his lowest. When the depression at home got really bad. Thankfully, I would be there to be like hey let’s talk to Mom and Dad. Or he would tell Mom or Dad he needed to go to the hospital. I have been getting closer to my sister and to have her ask me “What’s going on?” I don’t know what to say. It’s strange to have her here. But I do think it’s a good thing.

I was so proud of Adam last year. He was going to a therapist and taking his meds. This means he fell off the wagon again. I don’t blame him and I am not angry this happened. This has happened over and over. I think the first couple of times I did get mad that he wasn’t doing what he was supposed to do. But now I understand more about this mental health.

I told him that I will always worry about him. He is my BFF too and always will be here to talk or get advice from or just even to just listen. I love him and I hope he gets what he needs.

More working on the laundry room. It’s slowly turning into a gray room. Lol! Jeff only got to paint one coat of gray on the ceiling before running out of paint.

Before:

I hate this light. It’s so dated.

After:

This light was inspired by mom’s chandelier in her bathroom. We don’t have lights yet for it but we will get some this weekend. Yeah, you can see the square where Jeff painted but that will also be gone too. Needs that second coat.

FINALLY, I almost healed from the wasps! I got new skin growing where the blister was and I have no more puffy foot. It still sometimes puffs when I wear shoes. Will ask my doctor when I see him in October about that. I can walk around and wear shoes again! It took about 2 months to heal it was crazy hard to find anyone to help me. I guess I should expect as much with everything going on but still crazy that I had to go to another place to find anyone to help me with that.

We are starting work on our laundry room. Remember we painted it green. Now we want gray and we also put up cabinets.

Before: Yes that is dog hair. All clean now.

After:

This weekend will be new light fixture and painting of the ceiling.