Life

June 7 Jeff and I moved more than 50 boxes to April’s new home. It was such hard work! Right now she lives in an upstairs apartment. Jeff had a good idea to build a ramp which we did but still, it was a lot of lifting and driving. I felt sore the next day. I am going back on Monday till Tuesday. Then Jeff and I will go again on the 21st of June to move the rest. I hope that is it. It’s hard to do.

I have to give it to Jeff. He has those days off and he spent them helping April. He doesn’t complain. He’s such a good guy.

What really sucks that it was so hot out! The humidity was 100%. It was a sweaty mess. Ugh! I know the whole time I help her move but really it’s me moving her. It will be this way. One way to look at it. Gaining some muscle. =)

Icy

I have been thinking that maybe others think of me as icy. I don’t know why I have been thinking about it, lately. I guess that isn’t true. A couple of weeks ago I had a conversation with my neighbor. She was telling me she accidentally ran into a tree. You know clumsy but like on her way to her mailbox. Not in a vehicle or anything. Anyways she knocked down some eggs from the tree. An egg fell out of the nest means certain death for those baby birds. She said she felt horrible. Which just a week before I saw some eggs that have fallen out of the tree near where I was mowing. I didn’t mow them over by the way. I am not cruel but I felt bad for the little birdies. I told her that it’s sad that happens but you can’t put the eggs back in the nest. They still will be rejected by the mom. I said it so matter of factly too. She just gave me like yeah in response. Made me think of maybe I should have more sympathy.

In July we are going to one of Jeff’s co-worker friend’s cabin. I was thinking about the social thing I am going to. I am not in any way social at all. As you know I like to put up my walls and stay safely in my castle. I think that people think I am cold or maybe really shy. I also have gotten really, really good at my poker face when it comes to certain topics of conversations. Even though in my mind I have many opinions about whatever people are talking to me about. Years of practicing the poker face have gotten me to this point.

I also think should I care if people think of me as icy? The right answer is no but I am only human and do think about this from time to time. I would like to think that people see that I am a warm person and not a cold person.

Life

I lost track of time! Again. Lol! Humans, right?! Anyways it was so hard last week to pack April’s stuff. We aren’t even close to being done. Think of someone’s house who is a little on the hoarding side. That’s April’s house. It’s not as bad as a hoarder house but well on its way. April and her brother used to live together. A lot of his stuff is there and that was way over 5 years ago. She keeps holding on to it and she keeps telling him to come and get it. He doesn’t live that far from her place. Yet he never has and I doubt he will now come and get his stuff. I would have said come get your stuff or the dumpster it will go. Sometimes April is way too nice. Now though it will go in the dumpster can’t move it with her.

So….SHE GOT THE PLACE SHE WANTED!!!! I am so happy for her. Her new place is not that far from where she lives now. Plus it’s a house she gets the lower half.

Last weekend was rummage sale extravaganza! I found a nice shirt, books, a blanket and this really cool paperweight.

It has real flowers in it. I have to find that strange thing when I do rummage sales. This was it for this year.

Life

This was my week:

Situation bff April tells me she has to move. Why? Because the neighbor across the hall called the landlord. She claims that April’s apartment smells bad and she can smell it in the hall. This neighbor also hates April and this was the 3rd time she called to claim this. It looked bad for April because her mom made it so much worse than it needed to be! She always causes trouble. Her mom called the cops. What the hell are the cops going to do anyway? Because of this, they want April and her parents to move out. Thankfully they are letting her stay until the end of the month of June. Of course, her mom blames her for this even though it was her fault. She didn’t need to get involved. Her parents always make April the scapegoat for everything bad in their lives.

So all week been looking a place to live. It’s been hell! There is nothing to rent right now! So stressful! Plus no one will help her. It will be me and her packing her whole place. All I got to say is April likes to keep things (A LOT OF THINGS!). It will be tough.

I will go see her on Monday and stay for some days. We are going to go look at a place. I hope it works out because it solves all of her problems if she can get it. Fingers crossed.

Another thing, places are not requiring masks anymore. I feel to still wear my mask. I was standing in line at the pharmacy which is a place for sure people should wearing their masks, I feel. However, if people choose not to. Whom am I to tell them so? I would never and have never during this whole thing. Anyways standing in line with my mask on, the only one to have a mask on except staff. This woman is standing sort of next to me. Was chatting with the pharmacist. She was talking about she feels happier she doesn’t have to wear a mask. Then she looks directly at me and says “SOME people I guess didn’t get the memo that they don’t have to wear a mask. Since masks are ridiculous.” Mind you I was doing nothing but standing in line. I wasn’t telling people to wear masks. I wasn’t doing anything. So I look at her and said “Oh I am sorry. What country do we live in? Oh, that’s right, America I can do what I want!” Any other week I would have shrugged it off because I am not a confrontational person. I have been stressed for days trying to help April. So she got what she got. LOL! I wish people who just mind their own business. If a person is minding their own business why provoke? Oh well though it felt good to tell her off.

Brotherly Love

Let me tell you about Mother’s Day. Everything seemed happy. My siblings showed up with food. Sometimes I am unsure if they will. It was a nice sunny day last Sunday. We all sat outside. Jeff and I got burned. Our first sunburn of the year. Jeff got really burned. That really sucks!

Mom asked Kim if she was going to get the vaccine. She replied, “don’t worry about it”. Mom dropped it and she and I went inside so I could see the diamond painting she was working on.

Kim comes storming in yelling at her son that they are leaving right now! Mom and I looked at each other like what is going on? Mom asked what is going on? Corey starts yelling at mom. “It’s nobody’s business if we get vaccinated or not!” Even though yes it is. Maybe some people don’t want to be around those who haven’t got vaccinated yet. Whether to say it’s bad or not is up to each person.

It was a huge fight!

After they left in a huff. Mom and I went back outside and that’s when we got the whole story. Chrissy told Kim it’s Corey’s fault she got Covid. Look at the timeline all of us getting it around Corey. Kim said, “You don’t know that, it was him”. Like really?! Yes, it is! There is no way 5 people got Covid all at once. Also, Corey texted us all that he had Covid. If he didn’t think he gave it to anyone he wouldn’t have done that. Welcome to reality, Corey. I guess they were saying what the news says about Covid. It’s called doing your own research and also the news? Know I have an answer to my question on who really believes the news.

This brought to my attention my relationship with Corey. It’s not good that’s for sure. He has no remorse for what he did. He could have killed my parents. Mom and Chrissy got Covid and it was really bad for them. How could he do this and not feel bad? Even if he would have said I am not getting the shot and I don’t want to talk about it. That’s it. Fine we all would have been fine. But not to apologize to giving it to everyone, in my opinion unforgivable.

Like I have stated before I don’t understand why the family pities Corey. I don’t. He’s an adult and can make decisions on his own. I have struggled for a couple of days. Reflecting on how I feel about Corey. I decided I loved and respected the Corey when we were younger. We used to hang out. We used to be able to talk to each other. After years of me reaching out and trying to get together with him. Him not trying not even a tiny bit to at least be brotherly to me. Ignoring calls, texts, and even trying to hang out. I am done.

I have come to the conclusion I don’t love Corey. I can’t love someone I don’t have any kind of respect for. It’s different for me not to like something one of my family does. Maybe get mad here and there. This is a different feeling altogether. It’s not wrong to not love or even like your siblings. I think that is what I struggled with the most is he is my brother. Really that doesn’t mean anything.

Since he has chosen years ago he doesn’t care about our relationship then why should I try to mend something that isn’t even there anymore? It’s sad that it took Covid to bring that to light but the only thing that came from that fight is that hard feeling, I had but don’t have anymore. Since I don’t love my brother anymore. I feel actually free now. I don’t have to like him or his wife. Which really I haven’t ever really liked her anyway. I still will be civil but I can’t say I love you back. I am not going to say something just to say it because everyone else does.

Life

This Sunday is Mother’s day. I got mom some good presents. I bought some stuff on Wish. I thought for sure it wouldn’t come because it was supposed to get here on the 3rd and it came on the 7th of this week. If you can’t tell it’s a theme. Lol!

The little item on top of the candle is strawberry earrings. The big strawberry is actually a purse. Those are the items I got from Wish. The bag is cuter in person then on the website.

I am trying really hard to let this go. But my mom got her hair done…..

The grief she doled out last year for dying my hair was unbelievable. Then yet she does this! (Taking deep breaths.) However I think this looks great. I am going to let it go just hard right now. But I will get over it.

Like I mentioned this Sunday is Mother’s Day. Every year I send out invites on messenger. We always do a pot luck. I usually get on people’s cases to contribute whatever. Not this year. I said what we are bringing and no one else said anything else. So maybe we will just have hamburgers for Mother’s Day. They are adults, they can read. I don’t feel the need to be concerned with everyone else anymore.

I got my new diamond painting. I will be doing for my mom’s birthday in September.

On Thursday May 5 I saw the cutest little fox in our yard! He ran fast and I couldn’t get his front. But I did get a pic of him.

Here is a cute pic of Tex sitting like he does always. Lol!

Hair

I did it! I cut off all of my hair.

Hair before:

I first put my hair in a ponytail and cut it off. It was fun! Then I cut all the long pieces as much as I could. Then Jeff buzzed my hair. I haven’t had this short first of all ever. But short hair in general 2015! It feels so nice.

First time in like forever I am not going to dye my hair. What you see is what it’s going to be. I feel liberated not to have to dye my hair because I feel a certain why about having white hair along with my black original hair color. It feels like to just be me and be happy with that.

Life

Last week Jeff fell down at work. His own fault but still falling down as an adult really sucks. His leg somehow got wrapped up in his headphone cord and it tripped him. He fell on his knee and DAMN! The bruises he has is crazy! I also think he pulled some muscles too. Thankfully his work lets him work from home. He worked most of last week and some of this week from home to heal.

My mom came over on Monday. She really is into diamond painting now and knows I have been doing it now for a couple of years. She came over and we diamond painted. She is doing people with umbrellas and I am doing another very colorful owl.

I got this a week ago. After mom left I had this much done.

Friday I finished it!

Life

Last weekend was Easter. I went to my sister’s house she got her shot. My parents have their shot too. It was also my niece’s bday and she was milking it for sure. It was a good time to sit and chat with everyone. However my older brother wasn’t there because he couldn’t come over because he didn’t get the shot. Chrissy is still pretty mad at him and I am too a bit. It’s hard to forgive someone who doesn’t care about their family. But I am working on it.

I got now some more CBD oil this time. Wow those gummies tasted so very awful! But they worked good though. I like that I am continuing my journey to help myself with anxiety.

On Thursday I got my last Covid shot. I got instant arm pain but I felt fine. Till the nighttime. My throat felt strange and it’s hard to explain. It’s not scratchy but more like it feels like I guess I would say a lump in my throat is the best way to say. It feels so strange. My head feels terrible like when I get the flu. My arm hurt so, so bad! I can’t touch my arm or lay on my arm it hurts that bad.

I hope it only lasts this weekend and then I will be fine.

Life

I bought my first CBD product. Since last year I don’t know why but my anxiety has been a lot worse than it has been in years. I always have anxiety but thought it wasn’t as bad as I like to admit. It’s bad. We have a place here to buy it and I was surprised. I went last Saturday and got some gummies. I wasn’t sure how it would make me feel and I have to say they worked! I was not anxious going to the dentist this week. However I think next time I will get oil. The gummies taste like medicine trying to be cover up with gummies.

I finished that diamond painting owl finally. This one was tough.