I don’t want to grow up.

I was thinking of two things I had to overcome s to be where I am now. Changing and growing is hard to do.

I much like my mom even though I hate to admit it sometimes. My mom can hold a grudge! You did something to her like twenty years ago she still remembers. It’s crazy! I was the same way. I could hold grudges for a long time as well. Around fourteen or fifteen I decided I wasn’t going to that anymore. It was hard to let go especially when it’s a supposedly a friend hurts you. But now I forgive more and let go. Even though sometimes I slip up and hold a grudge when I know I shouldn’t. But I no longer hold it for years.

This one is a new one for me. Like I have said before my dad was gone a lot when I was younger and that has affected me. When my husband Jeff has to work late for a long period of time or he has to work weekends instead of spending time with me, I get upset. Because it reminds me of my dad working all the time. I know it’s not Jeff’s fault he has to work long hours sometimes. This year I am working on just being fine with it and more understanding. Another thing that is hard to do but I just have to let it go because I know Jeff is not a workaholic like my dad. I know he rather spend time with me then work.

Changing my mind is hard to do sometimes because I have to change my feelings as well.