Being human is hard with feelings. Damn you negative feelings.

Lately I have been having self doubt about myself. It all started when my cousin hurt my feelings. I think of my life and wonder why? Why people do not like me for long period of time? Is there something wrong with me?

It sucks because I hate self doubt. I know I am a good person. I am not trying to be self righteous either. I do feel that I give people a chance.

Well I told you that my cousin Alice came to WI. We went to her mother’s for a party for her since she lives in Utah. Usually we make plans to go for lunch or hang out for a little bit but this time she didn’t want too. I know she stayed for a week. Also we are supposed to be pen pals yet I haven’t seen a letter from her in over a month soon to be two. I know she just had a baby yet a week after she was born I got a letter.

Damn….

Is it because I don’t have kids I am not interesting anymore? I asked Jeff if he thinks I am boring. He said who cares what others think and besides we are DIYers we always doing something. Yeah I agree but the problem is I care a little. Why would I have self doubt then?

Just not her I think of Sheryrena how she didn’t want to hang out with me. Thought I made a new friend almost a month ago. I did physical therapy for my arm and the who was helping me was awesome! We had so much in common on the last day I said we should get together sometime. She said yes that would be fun. We are FB friends now and nothing.

This is how it is with me all of my life. And that is why it hurts I think. No matter what stage of life I am in. I meet new people, make a connection, we hang for some time then they leave. You think by now at 33 that I am used to it but no it still hurts.

Also yesterday was Labor Day. All I did was help Jeff with our wall and be in self doubt. Screw this emotion I need to get out of it. I hope soon it will pass.