Most of you failed!

When us kids got older my parents started this tradition that everyone gets a birthday card and a phone call on your birthday. I loved that! And of course a present of some kind. It’s usually money. (Who hates money? I do not.)

Last year I was so disappointed that I didn’t get any birthday cards from any of my siblings. I always send them birthday cards for their birthdays. I have two brothers and a sister. Also I didn’t get any phone calls to wish me happy birthday which I always do for them. I was sad and angry about it.

This year since my birthday is in the beginning of the year I decided to conduct a test. The only birthday that is in January is my younger brother. After him it’s me then my older sister and then my older brother. I wanted to see you who would send me birthday cards and/or call me. Facebook birthday wishes do not count for them. I wanted to see if they would put in the effort.

Guess what most of them failed. The only person who contacted me was my younger brother. Everyone else failed. They all fail getting me a birthday card though. Well none for them either. I know this makes me sound like a whiny baby but I will not be the sensitive one about it anyone more.

My siblings and I are not close anymore and I am giving up on that ever happening again. Except for my younger brother we are cool.

 I got some cool stuff for my birthday this year!

My parents gave me money. I haven’t bought anything yet from them. My father in law also gave me money. I know what I want to get though. I am going to buy a fitbit with both of the money I got.

I told Jeff I wanted one thing for my birthday. There is this picture that Jeff took of him and Koko while they were waiting for me one day. It’s my favorite picture of my loves. I told him I wanted that picture blown up and in a frame. Here it is:

My friend Helen got me some wonderful things. She made me that blue beaded tree! I can’t believe it. It’s so beautiful. And I got this bear. She told me that someone hand made this. Wow! I really love this bear. She knows I love chocolate she gave a huge bar of chocolate. Of course I ate it and do not have a picture of it. Oh well! What I can say I love chocolate!

To me!

Today it’s Saint Patrick’s Day but also it’s my birthday! Today I am 32 years old.

When I was younger I hated that my birthday was on Saint Patrick’s Day because of the all the green and mostly all my birthday cakes were decorated in shamrocks and green. My parents thought it was cool to dress me up in green outfits, make me wear green shamrocks pins, those silly headbands with shamrocks on them. It was ridiculous!

When I was teenager and I didn’t mind it so much and started to have fun with it. I dressed myself in green, wore green shamrock socks and pins. Just to be silly!

However the real fun didn’t happen till I turned 21. Having my birthday on Saint Patrick’s Day means free drinks at the bars! Oh hell yeah! I totally took advantage of that. Got totally wasted on my 21sth birthday but it was fun. Also having beer that is green! I love green beer. Green beer is a tradition on Saint Patrick’s Day. All it is, is beer then green dye is added to make it green beer.

Now that I am older I do not do the bar thing. Sometimes I will go to bar but that is rare. Since I am married and my husband loves to cook. I ask for him to cook me a steak for my birthday and I still have green beer. I do the green beer myself. Yums!

Happy Saint Patrick’s Day!

Happy Birthday to me!

Derp!

Tuesday March 3 2015 I had a brain fizzle. I haven’t had one of those sine the 90’s. What’s a brain fizzle? It’s something I came up with when one day you wake up stupid. There is nothing you can do about it either. I guess it’s a way for your brain tell you that it needs a break.

Need a break from what? Need a break from thinking to damn much! I think about everything and anything also I have been trying hard to write a story that I want to publish eventually. Which requires a lot of thinking plus all the other stuff I got to do.

I forgot how a brain fizzle feels. It doesn’t feel like writers block even though I do have those. This feels like you are so dumb that you can’t even function. Multitasking was so hard to do on Tuesday and I love to multitask. The only time I am not multitasking is when I am reading a book, playing video games or sleeping. Otherwise I am always multitasking. Even when I am being lazy in my own opinion I am multitasking. Brain fizzle doesn’t allow multitasking because you can’t focus on anything. I literally stared in outer space for three minutes on that day before someone texted me. I was like where did that time go and where was I?

Even talking to Jeff was chore because I couldn’t remember anything interesting that had happened during the day. There was no point to Tuesday. I don’t even know why I got out of bed. It was a total waste of time. But then again, it gave my brain to restart.

On Wednesday March 4 2015 I felt better. I guess my brain needed a day off. Good thing it was on a day that didn’t have that much going on. I couldn’t imagine having a brain fizzle day when I had many things to do.

I don’t want to grow up.

I was thinking of two things I had to overcome s to be where I am now. Changing and growing is hard to do.

I much like my mom even though I hate to admit it sometimes. My mom can hold a grudge! You did something to her like twenty years ago she still remembers. It’s crazy! I was the same way. I could hold grudges for a long time as well. Around fourteen or fifteen I decided I wasn’t going to that anymore. It was hard to let go especially when it’s a supposedly a friend hurts you. But now I forgive more and let go. Even though sometimes I slip up and hold a grudge when I know I shouldn’t. But I no longer hold it for years.

This one is a new one for me. Like I have said before my dad was gone a lot when I was younger and that has affected me. When my husband Jeff has to work late for a long period of time or he has to work weekends instead of spending time with me, I get upset. Because it reminds me of my dad working all the time. I know it’s not Jeff’s fault he has to work long hours sometimes. This year I am working on just being fine with it and more understanding. Another thing that is hard to do but I just have to let it go because I know Jeff is not a workaholic like my dad. I know he rather spend time with me then work.

Changing my mind is hard to do sometimes because I have to change my feelings as well.

There are only a few things that are awkward for me to buy in the store. Underwear and beds. Both are guesting games if I am going to like them or not.

Recently we had to buy a bed. It’s so awkward buying a bed because you have to lay down on them in the store with strangers. Well you don’t have to lie down with strangers they are in the store plus the sale person. (Silly!) Anyways it’s awkward because you have try out the bed to see if you like it and beds can be expensive.

I hate lying down in the store to try them out. It’s just very strange lying down in the store with lights on and the sales person asking if you like that one. Sometimes depending on the store they will lower the lights. Still you know they are watching you. Creepy! Plus depends on how you sleep is how you should try the bed. Good thing I am a side sleeper but my husband is a stomach sleeper. That is a bit weird to try out in the store. Also those pillows they have for you lie on are not really great pillows. Also how many people laid there head there?

Can’t really gauge how the bed is going to be when you get it home as well. Because in the store you don’t have your blanket, you are not in your pj’s. It’s just an awkward situation to buy a bed.

When did that happen?

My dad turned 60 on Jan. 24. Wow all ready? I remembered when my dad turned 50 and I was sad because that means he was getting older. I do not like that.

When I was younger my dad and I didn’t have the greatest relationship. My dad was a classic workaholic. He always chose work over family time. Also he traveled a lot for his job. That meant missing birthday’s and anything extra that I was in.

I am not a sports person but to please my dad I signed up for all kinds of sports when I was young, softball, basketball, tennis and soccer. I wasn’t good at any of those. I also played piano and was in ballet. My dad missed a lot of my games, recitals and shows because of work. And I became bitter about it.

Also that meant missing birthdays. My dad couldn’t ever remember my birthday even though it’s the easiest birthday to remember. I was born on Saint Patrick’s Day that is not hard to forget. When I was younger I thought my dad got me the coolest gifts not knowing that my mom would buy the present and slap a tag on saying it was from dad. The coolest gift I got was a lava lamp and I thought it was from him. Till one day my and I had to go get a bulb for it and she said I picked out a good color. It was red. I was like you picked it out? I thought it was from dad? I remember feeling disappointed. Every present after that that said it was from dad I knew it was from mom.

Now that I am older and so is he. Are relationship is a lot better. We have a lot in common and talk about those subjects a lot. It’s fun to hear the stories of when he was growing up and technology is always a funny subject to talk about. And he never forgets my birthday now even though he still can’t remember how old I am. I think that is funny. I love talking with him or just hanging out.

I wish my dad was not getting older but I am glad he is still here. Jeff and I got him this Packer hat for his birthday.

I have no idea where people manners have gone maybe out the window. But I am still mad at my older brother. Last year he and his family weren’t coming to Christmas because last year they went to Texas to celebrate Christmas with his wife’s family. Well to me that means no present for their child from us.

My mom didn’t think so. I gave in and got him some medium size trucks. Actually got a good deal buy one get one for free at Walgreens. Otherwise we would have just got him one. We did see them on Thanksgiving so we gave them his presents there. She did say thanks but that is not what I am mad about.

I am mad because my parents had Christmas with them and I had to hear from my mom that he liked them, he is one. I mad at that! Why didn’t they let us know he liked them? I don’t care if he hated them just pretend he liked them. From what I gather from my mom he loved them. But one of them could of texted, FB messenger me or even called me. But I got nothing!

We went out of our way to get their child, a child I may see once or twice a year a present. We didn’t have too. We didn’t have go and wrap them either. We don’t do the extra Christmas with them. So why in the hell do we have to get him a present when we don’t even see him that often? Or even on Christmas we didn’t see him?

The answer is we didn’t. But we did anyways. Never again! If we don’t see him then no present. If I had a child and they did that for my child. I would have let them know. It’s called MANNERS! So yes I am still mad about it. Next time I see him I am going to let him know too.

Jeff’s sister’s kid is not like that. We hardly ever see her but she calls lets us know that she love the money we sent her, she is nine. Even when she was really little, his sister would call us to thank us. My older sister and brother aren’t like that. I don’t know what happened because I am like that and so is my little brother.

Saying, calling, texting whatever just to say thanks means a lot more than people think about. Would have been nice to for them to say thank you for the gift and that he loved them. I don’t think that is hard to say.

Did you ever hear that saying: Laughing is the best medicine. I find truth in that saying. I laugh every day, yes every day! Unless something really tragic happens then no one is laughing. But part from that I laugh every day. Sometimes a chuckle or a really big laugh where I am crying because it is so funny!

The reason why I laugh so much is because of Jeff, he is so funny and makes me laugh every day. He tells the funniest stories, when he says something wrong and it comes out really funny or he has many funny faces! I thought I was funny but no he is the funniest person, I have ever met. I believe everyone should find someone who makes them laugh without trying really hard at it.

We laugh about the funny things that happen to us either while we were dating or recently. We laugh about stuff that has happen to us when we were kids. We are always laughing about something! I think laughing makes life more fun. We both find the stupidest things funny too. It’s fun to have someone in my life who even finds those things funny.

I even laugh at myself. If you can’t laugh at yourself, you take life too seriously. There will always be time to be serious but not every day. And Jeff does know the difference between being funny and being serious.